Author’s Note: This review was pushed ahead of what I was originally going to do upon hearing the announcement of Venger’s retirement from the world of self-publication. I hadn’t really taken the time to crack open the books in preparation for this review until recently and I kept asking myself: “why?”
This one is for you Venger, hope you get a kick out of it and I wish you well in your future endeavors!
Author’s Note 2: Holy shit, apparently Venger isn’t retiring! Praise be to the Old Ones! Well, I hope you enjoy this review anyway because honestly, I had a lot of fun writing this!
Disclaimer: This review is not intended to offend anyone featured and is made purely for fun!
If this somehow offends you, I encourage you to take a deep breath and find a sense of humor.
Now enjoy this review!
Have you ever wanted to explore a world where one of the world possible things you could encounter is a giant mechanical spider? Ever wondered what a feminist utopia would be like? Do you want to get drunk at one of the most sleazy bars in the galaxy only to be roofied, have all of your equipment stolen while wandering as a eunuch around the inside of a giant purple worm?
Welcome to Cha’alt!
The brain-child of Venger Satanis, a man whom I suspect is an actual resident of Cha’alt, has actually lived out the experiences described above and has decided to publish them into a format that the human mind could comprehend with what little he could translate into the English language. A man who isn’t afraid to show exactly what he loves: Chaos.
As he should, the man is the ruler of all of the colors of the Eldritch rainbow!
Why did he decide to do this?
Who cares?
It’s a riot if you’re willing to just buckle down and have fun.
Normally, I’d give a final score at the end of a review, but in this case I’ve decided to make an exception.
10/10.
Absolutely wonderful.
Play at your own risk.
And for the love of the Old Gods, pay no attention to the green slime oozing from the walls of whatever room you happen to be reading this in and let the tendrils of darkness take you into their sweet embrace. It’ll be over quickly, I promise.
I. What is Cha’alt?
Cha’alt is a system neutral campaign setting comprised of three books (thus far):
Mixing and gloriously combining humorous themes with sleaze, pop culture references, grindhouse films, eldritch entities, gonzo, science-fantasy and post-apocalyptic elements in a blender until it is one of the finest concoctions ever seen by man, woman or eunuch.
Each book focuses on a different section of the planet of Cha’alt where literally ANYTHING can attack you at any given time. The worlds are described beautifully and because of my continued consumption of these books, a rip in space-time has opened up and I can’t shut it… send help!
The core of the first book focuses on The Black Pyramid, a mega-dungeon that only a truly insane mind could have concocted.
But if you’re not ready to take the plunge, Cha’alt has you covered, each book contains scenarios to get you started! Afterall, every sacrifice to the Black Pyramid, must be primed.
You may be asking: Sig, what do you mean by “system neutral”?
I mean just that.
You can play it with any system and adapt it as you see fit, something that I don’t think many people, if any, have done before.
Want to play with OD&D or AD&D? Go for it!
Want to use a retro clone like Castles & Crusades? More power to you!
Pathfinder?
Shadowdark?
Cyberpunk?
You name it, you can probably run it in that system.
Even…
5th Edition D&D.
And if you’re running Cha’alt using 5e, I… urge you to reconsider! Lest the wrath of the Old Gods slither through your unprotected head meat.
Real men, play using a system crafted by Venger Himself:
Crimson Dragon Slayer d20!
II. What is Crimson Dragon Slayer d20?
It is described by the man Himself as: “D&D in arcade mode!” Which is a funny coincidence considering that I started playing D&D in an arcade.
It’s simple, choose a race, choose a class, say something cool about your character and start playing!
That’s it, there’s nothing to it.
It’s also completely fucking free!
So download the PDF and play that shit, because it’s fun as fuck!
Would you like to play as a brawny, manlet dwarf? Or perhaps a human sorceress whose exposure to the harsh radiation of Cha’alt has caused her grow an extra set of breasts, eyes, colored her skin green and made her look like that three tittied chick from Total Recall. Or if you’re really feeling adventurous, there is always my favorite game: Which color Monster flavored energy drink would you like your elf? I’m not kidding, there’s a shitload of elf variants and that’s just on Cha’alt.
Fuck character sheets, we don’t use those here, this is a game for MEN! (Author’s Note: There are character sheets available for this game.)
It’s currently available as a PDF and in POD format, so pick up a copy for yourself and bask in the glory of the old days!
Need an encounter? There’s a table for that, there are tables for just about everything you could imagine, from spell backfire rules, to mutations, to which flavor of space pirate is going to leave me in my skivvies in the middle of the desert today?
Playing with a system that’s not Crimson Dragon Slayer and you need stats for your characters or other creatures you’ll interact with? Cha’alt has you covered there too.
Cha’alt really has it all!
And also leads me to question, how in the fuck is this man not institutionalized?
This trilogy is madness incarnate and if your seat isn’t moist by now, then allow me to sweeten the pot.
III. My Experiences on Cha’alt
So my first character I rolled up was just your standard human fighter, nothing extraordinary, just a manlet cruising through the city of Kra’adumek. I find a door, I can’t open it, I roll, I somehow get lucky, I manage to pry it open to get inside the building, when all of a sudden, something explodes!
“What the fuck just happened?!” I ask.
Turns out, an invisible wizard just annihilated me with a fireball.
I had just created this character and I was dead, not even in the first room of the dungeon.
That’s when I realized: “Hey, this game is pretty fun!”
Make a new character. This time a sorcerer.
I enter a cantina, I make small talk with one of the bouncers looking for information. Suddenly, a buxom woman walks in and offers a job, I gladly accept. We venture into the desert.
Now, anything can happen in this game.
Sometimes you get very unlucky and encounter skeevers, who will take your shit and kill you for fun. Other times you get really unlucky and get stomped on by rampaging Ga’athruls, basically, alien dinosaurs.
And that’s about as much as I can review, no two experiences shall be the same and this game has too much about it to be held to standard criteria.
BREAKING NEWS!
High Priest Venger An’as Satanis is NOT retiring!
This is good news because we need more of this type of batshit insane content in the TTRPG space.
You can check out the man’s blog here.
You can get the game here.
Grab it.
Play it at your own risk!
And if you want to degrade your experience further, I urge you to try Cha’alt X-cards.
IV. What Are Cha’alt X-Cards
Rather than completely stopping the game because someone is triggered by attractive space pirates with massive tits, has a limb replaced with a cybernetics and can telepathically command a missle-pod with cyberware, lay down one of these 8 cards, each with a different subject matter, then watch as the GM changes the game entirely based on whatever topic was played out!
Want your game to devolve into something you watched on Cinemax as a horny teenager? The Sleaze Card is the right thing for you.
Not enough tentacles? Try the Eldritch Card!
(Author’s Note: I couldn’t find an image that wasn’t explicit, so for your sanity, I won’t show it here.)
It’s gonzo. I ain’t gotta explain shit!
Not only do these cards increase engagement from the GM but gets the players to really join in the game as well.
But don’t take my word for it, here is something from the man Himself!
(Source: Venger’s YouTube Channel!)
V. Conclusion
Cha’alt, it’s twisted, it’s crude, it’s disgusting and its pretty awesome!
Play at your own risk and embrace the tentacles!
Don’t believe me?
This game has 69 ratings on DriveThruRPG.
Once again.
10/10!
Amazing!
Sorry for the delay in content, things outside of the Wanderer’s Library have been a bit hectic and had to deal with that, but now, things look like they’re going back to normal, so expect some more content to come!
And this time, we’re going beyond the Dreaming Age!
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And may our paths cross again!